Today is my birthday. The last birthday of my 30’s. Seems like a valid enough reason for a Monday cocktail.

Lime Cucumber Cosmo is the epitome of a refreshing cocktail made with cucumber vodka, fresh lime juice, triple sec, and cranberry. The big dogs are coming out because this Lime Cucumber Cosmo is hands-down my favorite martini.

Birthdays are a time of reflection, and remind us how far we’ve come. So in the spirit of this, I’ve decided to pen a letter to my nineteen year old self. Melissa could have used a little come-to-Jesus back then.

May 22, 1997

Dear Melissa,

I hope this letter finds you well and I’m not interrupting too many of your demanding affairs such as…Hmm. What exactly does monopolize your time these days?? Since it seems you have some spare moments, sit back and take in some sensible advice.

First and foremost, I’d like you to consider the long game a little more. It would be greatly appreciated if a little forethought and fretting could be exercised for your future wrinkles. There’s this genius stuff, which I’m certain they had back then, called sunscreen. I know, I know. Summer’s here and you want to get your base tan going. But believe me, that short-lived tan will soon be grossly overshadowed by permanent crow’s feet, deep forehead wrinkles, and sunspots.

Secondly, don’t waste your time on douchebags. When guys act like a jerk, it doesn’t mean they’re dark and mysterious. It means they’re a jerk. If your man isn’t mistakenly under the impression you’re the greatest being to ever walk the earth, keep on keeping on until you find someone who does. Beneficially this also forces your hand to live up to your partner’s delusions before they catch on.

Keep on saying yes to those adventures, new places, and new faces. In the near future it will be no longer possible to hop around the country, transporting all your possessions in your crappy car. Unfortunately you become handedly more high maintenance. Considerations such as exemplary schools, fenced-in yards, and ensuite bathrooms slowly transform you into one critical and remarkably stationary creature.

Study your passions. College is time to take advantage of this tremendous privilege you have, so lean into your formative natural talents. Don’t waste this opportunity or resources trying to convince yourself of a career that bores the bejeezus out of you. Right now your only expectation is to learn. How fantastic is that?! Never again will this wealth of knowledge be so obtainable, uncomplicated, or on your parent’s dime.

Most importantly know life can’t be choreographed. You will have heartaches, insurmountable joys, setbacks, and blessings – none of which you have any control over. You’ll have to learn to overcome the roadblocks and relish the good fortunes. Your older self still has a lot of learning and growing to do, but luckily she has a great team by her side that picks up a lot of her slack.

Happy birthday, you infant. Put on some damn sunscreen!

Love,

Your More Seasoned 39 Year Old Self

LIME CUCUMBER COSMO

Name: Lime Cucumber Cosmo
Prep time: 2 min
Cook time: 1 min
Total time: 3 min
Yield: 1
Ingredients: 1 3/4 oz. cucumber vodka, (I prefer Effen Cucumber Vodka); 1/2 oz. triple sec; 1/4 oz. fresh lime juice; 1/2 oz. simple syrup; 1 oz. cranberry juice, (100% cranberry juice, NOT cranberry cocktail juice); extra lime wedge (for garnish)